I’ve received a number of requests to write more about dating, more specifically dating in our more mature years…mature, of course, referring to chronological age, not maturity. Women seem to find these posts especially amusing.
When I left the classroom to design, build and coordinate a school program linking mental, social and physical health services into a school campus, it was a steep learning curve because I knew little or nothing about mental and social health issues and only a bit more about physical health — typically, what the kids or I had experienced.
English majors are pretty much equipped to do little more than write, edit, teach or open an English Shoppe. On the other hand, most of us who teach can bluff pretty well, being only a day or two ahead of our students, so when I raised my hand to take on a new adventure, I sure looked like I was qualified.
First week on the job and I heard the therapists talking about Mr. Man of the Moment or The Sperm Donor — the fathers of the unborn children of the young pregnant teens who had come into the center. Their dark humor was not much different than what had been found in my old English Office.
It seems that not a whole lot has changed with reaching the senior years, except that if one is dating within one’s age group, the woman is not going to get pregnant. At least, that was my assumption, evidently an ill-conceived one, as it appears that the only women seriously dating are in their twenties. I learned that from a number of articles and blogs written for the dating population.
The first bit of advice I found was a list of cautionary notes for dating older men:
- The Mr. Set in His Ways, AKA I have my life already scheduled and have time for you two nights a week from 8 to 10 PM. Do not think for a moment he’ll change: Run;
- The Mr. Commitmentphobe, from whom you run run as fast as you can unless he’s George Clooney (given he’s off the market, just run);
- The Bitter Angry Dude, which says it all;
- The Flake as in I’ll call you in the morning but neglects to mention which month;
- The Kid Guy, who uses his kids for an excuse even when the kids are in their twenties.
I’ve dated a few of these men over the years and, fair enough, these are excellent insights, except the article was written for women in their twenties dating older men. Good grief. Go date men in your own age bracket. Men wouldn’t consider dating anyone twenty, thirty, forty or fifty years older than themselves and neither should you.
The next article I found was written by a man who warned women that time is a fleeting commodity, at least for females, and it was followed by input from many, many men, all of whom were probably just out of middle school. The consensus: women in their early twenties are in their prime and a thirty year old woman who is “hot” could possibly compete, but only for a short while.
After that, it’s spinsterhood. Women in their forties were pretty much discounted.
That pretty much puts me in the petrified forest category.
Evidently the only women who actually marry are those who might snare the male through conveniently forgetting the pill and getting pregnant. Or, we circle back to Mr. Man of the Moment, AKA The Sperm Donor, and the conniving woman is with child and on her own.
His conclusion: If a woman holds out for Mr. Wonderful, she’s going to be disappointed as men are no doubt having fun with (the writer only used one word, not three, although it also started with an “f” and ended with an “ing”) a younger hot number. The hold-out woman runs the risk of becoming “yet another 40 year old cat lady.”
Well, that certainly explains everything.
And, on that note, Where’s BlackJack?