A few months back, I finally joined the Lady 9ers, as in golf and not the 49er football team. It took me a while to figure out that probably half, if not more, of the ladies are neither very good golfers nor especially athletic, and are out there for a good time. Admittedly, we all do have a good time, laughing at our shots and scores, enjoying each other’s company and the lunches that follow our Tuesday morning games.
I’m still working on getting a handicap as I am a fair weather golfer, which means I don’t play if it’s too hot or too cold. Like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, the weather has to be just right, which is asking a lot of the Sierra foothills. It may be years before I actually accumulate ten completed scorecards within a twelve month period so I am truly legitimate. I keep telling the powers-that-be to just give me a handicap in the neighborhood of 2,358, but evidently the highest I can get is 36. Like that will help.
I don’t feel especially bad about my lack of golfing skills as I am passably good at a couple other things, so when an email came out asking for support for an upcoming Team Play, I volunteered for table decorations. I have my mother’s gene; I decorate in my dreams. A dear friend once told me You are the only person I know who can grab a old scorched pot out of a cabinet, toss a few twigs into it and have a stunning table centerpiece. If I tried that, it’d look like a burnt pot with dead branches. In all fairness to the pot, it was a scorched antique copper pot.
Regardless, the 9ers’ team leader grabbed me and a fellow-creative-golfer-volunteer, and took us to the decorations shed that held — well, being very kind — dusty, bug infested decorations that had seen better days. And those days were no doubt decades ago. Then she announced, No budget and we don’t know how many attendees so we don’t know how many tables. Co-decorator and I looked at one another and in unison said No problem. We are both retired teachers.
Any educator will understand that dark humor. Most years, we had no clue which classes we were going to teach, much less how many students might show up or if we’d have sufficient desks for said students.
I remember one year when our department chair announced we actually had a budget, a real live budget. Holy mackerel! Then we found out each of us were getting $50. That was fifty dollars for 150 students for the entire year. Sigh.
Given that background, no budget for decorations? No sweat…a little of this, a little of that, a little hot glue, and the decorations turned out cheery and colorful. So good in fact, that one of the officers called me shortly thereafter.
Do you sew?
In my mind, there’s a world of difference. A seamstress intuitively knows how to mend a torn hem. I reach for the duct tape.
But I do have a sewing machine and I do know how to turn it on, which meant I was qualified to be drafted for a new 9er project: Cool Tubes to wrap around our necks and keep us cool while playing at golf. uh huh.
She sent me a link to a YouTube demonstration. Not so difficult.
I called her back.
I can handle this.
Do you have fabric? We have no budget.
Yep, I have tons of fabric. No problem there. um, how many do you need?
Fifty-two tubes, 4 1/2 inches by 43 inches, right sides stitched together and then turned right-side out. If you ever want to keep younger ones busy and frustrated, give them a few long skinny tubes and have them figure out how to turn the suckers right side out. (if anyone is really desperate to know, I’ll share).
Each tube then gets stitched into four segments, with each of those getting a quarter teaspoon of water absorbing polymer crystals, many of which evidently did not want to end up hanging around someone’s neck in a cool tube. They are all over my quilting room carpet, just waiting for a bit of water so they can plump up and keep my toes cool.
At any rate, the 52 Cool Tubes are now completed and look pretty good for a non-seamstress.
Just don’t say anything, because she’s using these to surprise the members at some event or another down the road…
Regardless, I can get back to the fun stuff. Like quilting. Bridge. And maybe a little golf if the weather cooperates.